“I’m just some guy who’s in love with the girl that just left. And she’s never gonna feel the same way, so I’m just gonna go.” -Barney

“I love this burger so much I wanna sew my ass shut.” -Barney

“Seriously, kids, never invite an ex to your wedding.” -Ted

“Kids, you may think your only choice is to swallow your anger or throw it at someone’s face, but there’s a third option: You can just let it go.” -Ted

“You really are Ted’s bestfriend.. and so am I! It’s a tie!” -Barney

“I love my sister. And as her older brother, it’s my job to protect her from guys like you.” -Ted

“When two exes try to be just casual, someone always winds up getting hurt.” -Lily

“Dating friends never works out.” -Robin

“Just do me a favor. If you ever do meet someone special, don’t run away from it; don’t be me. Take a shot at it, will you?” -Barney’s Mom

“Whenever you’ve been dating somebody for a while, I do the front porch test. You know, ‘How is this person gonna fit in our group over the years?'” -Lily

“We wait three days to call a woman because that’s how long Jesus wants us to wait. True story.” -Barney

“When I got your mother’s number, I called her right away.” -Ted

“It’s a scary thought, but it’s also kinda wonderful. All these little parts of the machine constantly working, making sure that you end up exactly where you’re supposed to be, when you’re supposed to be there. The right place.. At the right time..” -Ted

“There’s a lot of little reasons why the big things in our lives happen.” -Ted

“I know that you’re tired of waiting, and you may have to wait a little while more.. but she’s on her way, Ted. And she’s getting here as fast as she can.” -Stella

“Listen to what the world is telling you to do and take the leap.” -Lily

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