HIMYM Season 7

“You.. make me wanna change.” -Barney

“Geez, Lily! It’s like you have a butt on your chest.” -Ted

“I’m happy that you’re happy but.. dammit.. what if?” -Ted

“Sometimes love means taking a step back.” -Ted

“My mom is the best person I know. If Nora’s even the tiniest bit like her, I’m a lucky guy.” -Barney

“If there’s one thing I learned as a therapist, it’s that just because something needs to be told, doesn’t mean it needs to be heard.” -Kevin

“We’ve all done bad things. It doesn’t mean we’re bad people.” -Kevin

“We gotta wait for the real thing, no matter how tough it gets.” -Ted

“You don’t wanna tell me what’s wrong? Fine, I don’t need to know. But you can never stop me from trying to cheer you up.” -Ted

“But there was one thing your Aunt Robin never was; she was never alone.” -Ted

“Hey, bros before hoes. Right?” -Barney

“I really don’t wanna mess that up.” -Robin

“Bar. Alone. Now.” -Ted

“Because kids, when the door closes.. Well, you know the rest.” -Ted

“Now, I got you a journal. I know this sounds lame but it really helps work through stuff to write about it.” -Lily

“You know what’s funny? Almost every woman I’ve ever met was wrong to give me a chance. You’re the first woman who’s wrong not to.” -Barney

HIMYM Season 6

“But you’re right, James. It’s time to let go of the fantasies. It’s time to grow up.” -Barney

“High V!” -Ted as St. Valentine

“It would be pitch-black in the middle of the woods; I could never see anything in front of the headlights. But I always felt so safe.. coz my dad was driving… Now he’s just gone. It’s pitch-black. I can’t see where I’m going.” -Marshall

“Here’s a secret. I couldn’t see worth a d*mn either, buddy. I just kept driving forward, hoping for the best.” -Marshall’s Dad

“I have to go. I have a big, meaningless stack of paperwork that I have to get off my desk to make room for tomorrow’s big, meaningless stack of paperwork.” -Marshall

“Sometimes, things need to fall apart to make way for better things. I’m just saying eggs are already broken; just make sure we make a pretty good omelet out of it.” -Zoey

“Your heart’s talking to you, Barney. Do you have the guts to listen to it?” -Lily

“A magician never reveals his greatest trick.” -Jerry/Barney’s Dad

“If you end an argument with a rhyme, it’s convincing all the time.” -Marshall

“The future is scary, but you can’t just run back to the past because it’s familiar.” -Robin

HIMYM Season 5

“No, Ted. They don’t realize they weren’t lying.” -Lily

“There are two kinds of guys: the guys that you want to call you who don’t and the guys you don’t wanna call you who always do.” -Jen

“I’ve seen Barney work very hard to get women. I’ve seen him work very hard to get rid of women. I’ve never seen him work this hard to keep one around.” -Ted

“You know how everyone has that guy/girl, who no matter what happens, you always remember them being the perfect one for you?” -Ted

“There’s no shame in admitting it, Ted. We’ve all been on people’s hooks and we’ve all kept someone on the hook.” -Lily

“But you’re not just another number to me.” -Barney

“Your Uncle Barney finally gave Aunt Robin the ‘super date’ she truly deserved.. with the guy she truly deserved.” -Barney

“Everyone’s got some baggage. It’s part of life. But like anything else, it’s easier when someone gives you a hand with it.” -Ted

“Hey! Why is Ellen DeGeneres in our bedroom?” -Marshall

“But eventually, over time, we all become our own doppelgangers. Y’know, these completely different people who just happen to look like us.” -Ted

“You can ask the universe for signs all you want. But ultimately, we’ll only see what we wanna see.. when we’re ready to see it.” -Ted

HIMYM Season 4

“I’m just some guy who’s in love with the girl that just left. And she’s never gonna feel the same way, so I’m just gonna go.” -Barney

“I love this burger so much I wanna sew my ass shut.” -Barney

“Seriously, kids, never invite an ex to your wedding.” -Ted

“Kids, you may think your only choice is to swallow your anger or throw it at someone’s face, but there’s a third option: You can just let it go.” -Ted

“You really are Ted’s bestfriend.. and so am I! It’s a tie!” -Barney

“I love my sister. And as her older brother, it’s my job to protect her from guys like you.” -Ted

“When two exes try to be just casual, someone always winds up getting hurt.” -Lily

“Dating friends never works out.” -Robin

“Just do me a favor. If you ever do meet someone special, don’t run away from it; don’t be me. Take a shot at it, will you?” -Barney’s Mom

“Whenever you’ve been dating somebody for a while, I do the front porch test. You know, ‘How is this person gonna fit in our group over the years?'” -Lily

“We wait three days to call a woman because that’s how long Jesus wants us to wait. True story.” -Barney

“When I got your mother’s number, I called her right away.” -Ted

“It’s a scary thought, but it’s also kinda wonderful. All these little parts of the machine constantly working, making sure that you end up exactly where you’re supposed to be, when you’re supposed to be there. The right place.. At the right time..” -Ted

“There’s a lot of little reasons why the big things in our lives happen.” -Ted

“I know that you’re tired of waiting, and you may have to wait a little while more.. but she’s on her way, Ted. And she’s getting here as fast as she can.” -Stella

“Listen to what the world is telling you to do and take the leap.” -Lily

HIMYM Season 3

“Some stories you tell, some stories you don’t.” -Ted

“When I married you, I married your problems, too.. the ones I knew about, and the ones I didn’t.” -Marshall

“You see, when someone’s bad habits are pointed out to you, it’s hard to ignore them. But if you love them enough, those bad habits are easy to forget.” -Ted

“Looking back on the Platinum Rule, I think there’s a 9th step. We’ll call it Coexistence. It’s the moment you realize that all that anger and resentment just isn’t useful.. and you start to let go of it.. and move on with your life. It just takes a while.” -Ted