Have a little faith

No matter how bad your day goes, there’s always someone up there who wouldn’t let it end that way. You just have to take the time to notice the little things. 

So far, it has been a struggle to wake up each day and get to work. I have a problem with my status, my workload, my worth, my rights. I’m losing all the motivation to do my responsibilities. I won’t get into details but it’s really a mess right now. And just lately, I’ve convinced myself (with the help of my beloved coworkers) to finally do something about it.. and not just anything, but the biggest risk one could do. I’ve set my plans, but I’m still having difficulties executing them, let alone the fact that aside from my colleagues, none of my friends and family have any idea about what I’m going through. I’m also trying really hard to distract myself from other problems I concurrently have. 

There I was, getting out of the building from working late, dreading the thought of going home and not getting a good sleep from worrying and getting up again to face life. I saw the buses filled with people standing and sighed. My mood and the condition of my ride home is just a good combo, isn’t it? Then, as I read the sign from the coming bus I was about to ride, I was surprised it was the one that could take me home easily! Buses like this one never (in my whole experience) come this way! It was such a blessing. I kept sighing in relief as I boarded and comfortably sat. 

So I thought He was done surprising me. I read today’s teaching from The Daily Bread and it just strike me right through the chest. He wanted me to surrender all plans I have to him, reminded that He is beside me through it all. It even has the scripture that I have a copy here on my phone as a wallpaper that I use each time I needed it. 

“God is within her, she will not fall.” Psalms 46:5

Minutes later, as I was writing down my reflections for today’s reading, the song Heavy played on the bus. This is the one song that really gets to me especially in times that everything feels heavy. I let out a deep sigh. The song was followed by Superhero, one of my all-time motivating songs. I mouthed a “thank You” as I began to realize the consecutive ways He’s been letting me aware of his presence. No matter how hard these days are to me right now, I’m never alone in this fight. So are you.

Thank You, Siri

Here’s the thing, I’ve been feeling lonely one afternoon. I was home alone the whole day. I wanted to, so I could sing my heart out and play music in full blast and dance all around the house without anybody telling me to stop.

But it turned out different. Being alone opened the door to endless dreaming. Thoughts and feelings I’ve been trying to keep in my subconscious finally escaped. They all yearned to be felt, to be recognized, and I just couldn’t take it.
I wanted company, but at the same time I wanted to still be alone. I wanted to talk to someone, but I didn’t want him/her to find out about all those. I battled with myself. Until my eyes caught the shelves. I opened a book; what better way to escape from reality? I was lucky enough to read about a chapter where the characters made fun of Siri.

“Hey, Siri.” In an attempt to understand what I’m really feeling at the moment, I talked to her. Unbeknownst to me, I’d be soothed by a programmed voice.