“Don’t let the brutality of the world take away your thankful heart.”
No matter how bad your day goes, there’s always someone up there who wouldn’t let it end that way. You just have to take the time to notice the little things.
So far, it has been a struggle to wake up each day and get to work. I have a problem with my status, my workload, my worth, my rights. I’m losing all the motivation to do my responsibilities. I won’t get into details but it’s really a mess right now. And just lately, I’ve convinced myself (with the help of my beloved coworkers) to finally do something about it.. and not just anything, but the biggest risk one could do. I’ve set my plans, but I’m still having difficulties executing them, let alone the fact that aside from my colleagues, none of my friends and family have any idea about what I’m going through. I’m also trying really hard to distract myself from other problems I concurrently have.
There I was, getting out of the building from working late, dreading the thought of going home and not getting a good sleep from worrying and getting up again to face life. I saw the buses filled with people standing and sighed. My mood and the condition of my ride home is just a good combo, isn’t it? Then, as I read the sign from the coming bus I was about to ride, I was surprised it was the one that could take me home easily! Buses like this one never (in my whole experience) come this way! It was such a blessing. I kept sighing in relief as I boarded and comfortably sat.
So I thought He was done surprising me. I read today’s teaching from The Daily Bread and it just strike me right through the chest. He wanted me to surrender all plans I have to him, reminded that He is beside me through it all. It even has the scripture that I have a copy here on my phone as a wallpaper that I use each time I needed it.
“God is within her, she will not fall.” Psalms 46:5
Minutes later, as I was writing down my reflections for today’s reading, the song Heavy played on the bus. This is the one song that really gets to me especially in times that everything feels heavy. I let out a deep sigh. The song was followed by Superhero, one of my all-time motivating songs. I mouthed a “thank You” as I began to realize the consecutive ways He’s been letting me aware of his presence. No matter how hard these days are to me right now, I’m never alone in this fight. So are you.
Last September 5, I was so busy, tensed, hyped, but not because it was my day but because it was another day to finish, submit, and defend our thesis. The whole team spent the night at my best friend’s house, which was usual to the PB’s. But in spite of the loads of work to finish, they managed to prepare a surprise for me. Twelve midnight, I walked back from my dormitory with my parents, lights were off, they sang and greeted with a huge box of pizza with lighted candle and an ongoing video from the iPad. I could still remember it like it just happened weeks ago.
Now, exactly a year later, here I am at home, past all the stress from college life, past pre-board, watching series and eating pistachio-flavored ice cream while waiting for the board exam’s results. Who would’ve known it was just half a year ago when I haven’t even have time to care about how I look or how much sleep I got the night before or what would it be like six months later?
I am just so thankful for everything I’ve been through, for another year I was granted, for everything. Also, I’m grateful I realized today that birthdays need not be extravagant, nor spendy, nor have lots of people to remember it every year. I woke up feeling bad about my family arguing, had just seven “greeters,” and spent my day just watching and eating at home, even a few hours alone. I feel happy to be 21 and contented.
My day’s ending in a few hours. All I hope is for another good day next year, better if willed. Who knows? There may be a good reason why today’s #HugAPsychMajorDay. I hope my family’s well and happy, my friends and I have stable jobs, and maybe, just maybe, I’m happy and in love with a man I deserve.. as much as he deserves.
Happy birthday, my dear self!
I wrote this on my birthday. I believe in “everything has a reason” now, more than ever. #HugAPsychMajorDay truly wasn’t a coincidence. The results came the day after. Dad woke me up with the happiest tone of his voice on the phone. And, just two days ago, I attended the Psychometricians and Psychologists’ Joint Oath Taking Ceremonies. I could not explain the joy that overwhelms me. The road is still long. For now, let me leave you with these two words, I’M READY.
Ma. Hyacinth C. Estidola, RPm
He showers us with blessings amidst loads of problems to remind us of how special we are to Him, yet we worry too much and thank less. 😦