Message

Just finished watching A Star Is Born and I’m still in pain. The film’s message?

Life. Music. Alcoholism. Addiction. Love. Family. Voice. Pain. History. Secrets. Fame. Death. Choices.

I want to make this post long. I want to share everything I learnt, felt, but I’m lost for words…

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Availability, Not Ability

“We all have our own challenges ahead of us. It’s how you respond to these challenges which will define you.” -Wil Dasovich

Discovery

This friendship’s making me realize how killjoy I am most times and how much better it is to just live, say yes, take risks, be happy.

Me First

I think I now know how I’d start my 2018 right.

  • Take risks
  • Be honest
  • Live in the moment
  • Say yes
  • Be happy
  • Love freely
  • Take chances
  • Open up
  • Be brave
  • Have fun
  • Give time
  • Be me
  • Decide for me

This is one of those nights

This is one of those nights when I just can’t stop thinking, worrying, and suddenly explode into tears I’ve been trying to hold back for far too long. 

It’s just so hard. Worse, I have no one to talk to about all these. I know there are lots of good souls willing to listen, but no matter how difficult it gets, a huge part of me still thinks and feels this is a battle I could fight on my own; partly because I don’t want others to see what’s behind the mask, more so that everything’s just masked.

I don’t know what to do anymore. R.. Should I speak to him now? Should I do it face to face? Should I just show this blog to him and let this explain everything? Should I just choose not to let him hear the truth from me ever? D.. Should I inform him that I just act normal but that doesn’t mean I’m over it and I forgive and believe him? Should I make him explain to me upfront? Should I add that woman on Facebook? Should I look into his phone once more? Should I let this go and just believe him?

This is one of those nights when I sincerely wish I could fall asleep and wake up finally knowing what to do.