Direction

Hearing, “Ate, gusto ko magmed,” (Translation: Sister, I want to study medicine) this morning just instantly shifted my life’s direction.

It’s a dream I’ve never let go; just put on hold. Now, it’s my sister’s dream, too. I’m so glad I have a set timeline for that dream of mine (plan B and plan C I’ve well thought of for a long time). I’m also glad she knows what she wants now (at the age of 13).

But it’s confusing me because hearing those words both set my plans straight-er and at the same time collapsed mine. Confusing, right? Hahaha.

Now, I can’t help thinking if it’s something I should add to the drawing or if I should throw away the first and draw on a new, blank page.

Really.. My parents are this appreciative for simple gifts.. Can’t wait to give you greater ones, your dreams.

Just.. Stay here and wait for me, ok?

Reminder

Created a wallpaper that would help me check if I’m taking the right steps each day.. If I’m moving towards my goals.

Looks really messy and childish, but is very symbolic.

Dollar bills – spend less, save more, earn more

Honda logo – watch driving lessons, get a driver’s license, use CK our car

Two hearts – go on dates for Pete’s sake, let go if it’s not him or do something to keep him

Family on a car wearing beanies – treat my family on trips to places as far as I could afford

Purple – my favorite color then, to remind me that these have been MY goals for a long time now, mine and not imposed by anyone else

W,

I never thought we’d have a conversation like this ever and I’m thankful for this chance. You were one of the first guys who made me feel so special, who taught me of patience, consistency, and perseverance, who made me realize I’m worth loving, and whom I hurt so much.

I’m really happy for you. You would always talk about these things back in high school and now everything’s slowly turning into reality. You’re migrating to the US in a few weeks. You’re getting married in a few months. She is your first and last. You’re aiming to get your mom to be with you two asap. You had everything planned out and really are chasing your dreams at a young age.

I don’t want to ruin the moment by saying sorry for everything I did, said, made you feel.. but I hope you know I am.

Just really happy we are talking right now.. Me being excited to wear a gown on your wedding.. You telling me I might get married in church first.. I’m happy you’re happy. Knew I wasn’t the one for you, but I wanted us to be like this.