Waking up with a heavy, confused heart.. With questions that will never seem to be answered.. I don’t want this anymore.

Why don’t we look the other way? It might be the right way.

I meant..

Okay, last chance. If you don’t say or do anything that’ll prove that you still are into me, I’m done. I’m letting go of these long-time hopes and stubborn feelings for real.

Or maybe last two.

*weak laugh* When will I succeed in getting over you?

Please don’t

Took a nap just a while ago.

Dreamt of me hearing my father flirting on the phone. I stormed outside my room towards him in the living room. He didn’t notice me as his eyes were closed and was wearing earphones. I was enraged, more so because the setting was similar to the actual before I fell asleep — my mother and youngest sister asleep on the couches — yet he seemed confident he won’t wake them up and kept on talking. Though I already knew who it was on the other end, I grabbed his phone to look at the caller ID. It was a bit hard since along with the shock, his reflexes made him hold on to his phone.

I awakened.

No, please don’t let it be a warning, Lord. I don’t want it to happen to us.. again. I don’t want to go through it alone again. I don’t want to hold more grudges against him. I don’t want to forgive him again. Please.

Not any other day

Today marks the last time I’ll tell myself this.. and the first time I’ll really listen.

Enough. Enough hoping. Enough wishing. Enough hurting. Enough waiting. Enough lying. Enough feeling.

For weeks, you’ve been asking yourself and the Lord if it’s A, B, or C. For weeks, you’ve been granted indirect pieces of answers. It’s about time to face the truth, to complete the puzzle. 

He’s over you. 

What’s left is to do the same. 

He was able to; why can’t you?