Not anymore

No more time to waste. No more hiding. If the right one comes along, I will not waste another moment nor run away from his reach. I will let myself feel freely.. love and be loved.

Likewise, I’ll do my best not to waste any opportunity to be with friends and family, to go to places I’ve never been, and to do things I rarely do or I’ve never done. Tomorrow is never promised.

It’s very timely that I was able to watch this movie that made realize all these on the month of love. Thank you, Can’t Help Falling In Love.


This is one of those nights

This is one of those nights when I just can’t stop thinking, worrying, and suddenly explode into tears I’ve been trying to hold back for far too long. 

It’s just so hard. Worse, I have no one to talk to about all these. I know there are lots of good souls willing to listen, but no matter how difficult it gets, a huge part of me still thinks and feels this is a battle I could fight on my own; partly because I don’t want others to see what’s behind the mask, more so that everything’s just masked.

I don’t know what to do anymore. R.. Should I speak to him now? Should I do it face to face? Should I just show this blog to him and let this explain everything? Should I just choose not to let him hear the truth from me ever? D.. Should I inform him that I just act normal but that doesn’t mean I’m over it and I forgive and believe him? Should I make him explain to me upfront? Should I add that woman on Facebook? Should I look into his phone once more? Should I let this go and just believe him?

This is one of those nights when I sincerely wish I could fall asleep and wake up finally knowing what to do. 

Dear b,

Hi! I’m H and you’re my future partner, my first actually. How are you? Where are you? What are you doing right now? Who are you with? Are you happily inlove? Are you in pain? Have I met you already? When will our paths cross? Are you asking the same questions? 

It’s silly, but I’m always thinking of you. I hope that wherever you are now, love and faith will always guide your steps. Whatever it is you may be going through right now, you’ll get past it. The success and joy you may be experiencing now, please know you deserve it. 

Right now, I’m doing my youngest sister’s school project while listening to worship songs. You suddenly crossed my mind. I’ve been meaning to write to you in quite a while; recently, I was inspired to really do so because of the movie Finally Found Someone that I watched. I’m currently going through a lot. “The stakes are high; the waters rough~” as Tay sang. These days are really tough. Most of the time, I sit in silence with endless sighs, hoping it ends soon. It would’ve been a lot lighter if you were here with me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not blaming you for not being here earlier. The thought of you possibly experiencing the opposite right now, having the best days of your life, comforts me. I hope you really are. But if we are both struggling at the moment, I know we both are strong persons. We’ll get through these apart and talk about it together someday soon.

I’m ready to be with you anytime now. I hope you don’t get caught in traffic for a longer time. I have so much love to give. All these years, I’ve prayed for you. I’ve waited.. and I’ll be waiting. I admit, I’m inlove with somebody; I’ve been for a long time. I also admit, a part of me still hopes you’re the same person who’ll someday get to read this. But I’m trying really hard to get over him, especially now, now that I’ve accepted some things couldn’t really be and some persons I have already lost a long time ago. If he isn’t you, please don’t feel bad nor jealous. By the time you’re reading this, it is already you, my you. I can’t wait to be with you. I hope you’re on your way. I hope life’s leading me to you each day. 

One day yours,

H ❤️