Looking back

I revisited my New Year 2019 post here and had the intention of posting it on my personal social media accounts, but realized it’s better not to broadcast it to people who knew me. Less judgments.. Less eyes on me..

Instead, let me share it here again. In all honesty, I’m amazed at how it was me who wrote this. There’s just so much intellect, so much power, positivity, direction. I almost couldn’t believe these were my own thoughts, my goals for the last year. C’mon, just look at the title. The wit. Lol.

Of all six, the fourth one is what I haven’t followed much and should focus on this year. The rest, I hope to continue reminding myself.

The year started out.. Okay? I was both happy and sad a number of times and we’re just on the 5th page. But overall, I’m excited. I’m really, really excited for what this year has for me, for everyone, actually.

To myself on January 2021, if you are to look back at this.. I know it had been a long year; I can only imagine. Regardless of the state of your heart now, whether this is a next chapter or a blank slate, I wish nothing but your happiness and the fulfillment of your goals for the coming year!

Maybe not

Maybe one day, all these thoughts will be reality. Maybe not with the person I’m imagining at present, but surely with the right person.

This in itself soothes me.

I just really can’t control my mind. Us getting another chance in this lifetime is next to impossible anymore, but I can’t stop myself. I keep on creating happy memories I know might never happen.

And that’s okay. I’ll hold on to the thought that it might not.. not with him.. But with the person written in God’s plans, it surely will.

I think I can settle on this for now.

Fake it ’til you make it

Genuinely happy for the 563 people who haha’d this post. Hope you know you’re very lucky you don’t have to do this. 😊

Also, I wonder how many from the 3,500+ felt that familiar sting just by reading it? Hope I could send each a virtual hug. 🙃

TyL!

I’ve finally come to terms with three people who have made the biggest impact in my life.. all three today!

One.. Sat in his car and spent hours alone with him.

Two.. Messaged and invited her to our friends’ next night out.

Three.. Breathed the same air as he again after all those years.

Emotional barriers have been brought down. All the pain and anger that haunted me for the longest time have finally turned to dust and danced with the wind. It wasn’t even awkward at all. I can’t explain the feeling, but thank you, Lord, for this day.