Each time I listen to Mom by Meghan Trainor, I can’t help but smile.
No matter how bad your day goes, there’s always someone up there who wouldn’t let it end that way. You just have to take the time to notice the little things.
So far, it has been a struggle to wake up each day and get to work. I have a problem with my status, my workload, my worth, my rights. I’m losing all the motivation to do my responsibilities. I won’t get into details but it’s really a mess right now. And just lately, I’ve convinced myself (with the help of my beloved coworkers) to finally do something about it.. and not just anything, but the biggest risk one could do. I’ve set my plans, but I’m still having difficulties executing them, let alone the fact that aside from my colleagues, none of my friends and family have any idea about what I’m going through. I’m also trying really hard to distract myself from other problems I concurrently have.
There I was, getting out of the building from working late, dreading the thought of going home and not getting a good sleep from worrying and getting up again to face life. I saw the buses filled with people standing and sighed. My mood and the condition of my ride home is just a good combo, isn’t it? Then, as I read the sign from the coming bus I was about to ride, I was surprised it was the one that could take me home easily! Buses like this one never (in my whole experience) come this way! It was such a blessing. I kept sighing in relief as I boarded and comfortably sat.
So I thought He was done surprising me. I read today’s teaching from The Daily Bread and it just strike me right through the chest. He wanted me to surrender all plans I have to him, reminded that He is beside me through it all. It even has the scripture that I have a copy here on my phone as a wallpaper that I use each time I needed it.
“God is within her, she will not fall.” Psalms 46:5
Minutes later, as I was writing down my reflections for today’s reading, the song Heavy played on the bus. This is the one song that really gets to me especially in times that everything feels heavy. I let out a deep sigh. The song was followed by Superhero, one of my all-time motivating songs. I mouthed a “thank You” as I began to realize the consecutive ways He’s been letting me aware of his presence. No matter how hard these days are to me right now, I’m never alone in this fight. So are you.
Each time I’m lonely, burdened, I listen to Heavy. Even when I’m not and I listen to it, I feel lonely and burdened.
What if this song was Chester’s cry for help? It was released this May. His best friend died this May. He committed suicide at the day of his best friend’s birthday.
People.. Please.. Talk to someone. Talk to anybody. Don’t keep your problems/feelings to yourselves.
Don’t ever believe you have nobody. You may think it; the world may try to make you believe it; but don’t.
May you rest in peace, Chester Bennington.
People like you deserve to live as long as you would like to.
But as much as we, both strangers and those who knew you, ache and cry because of the shortness of your stay in this world, we can’t help but be happy for you.
Reading the letters you wrote for your family, knowing you have thought about doing such brave and sweet act, imagining how hard it must have been as you were typing each word, I can’t help but realize you left home with a happy, contented, prepared heart. You have a positive yet realistic mindset. You have such big heart for the people you care for. You are the kind of person this world doesn’t deserve.
If you are up there, continue looking over your family and letting them feel the warmth of your love. If you are among us now, born in a different physique and to a different family, I genuinely hope you live with the same heart and the same outlook in life… And that, this time, life would let you stay a little longer.
A link to the letters he wrote for his wife and 9-month old daughter:
I feel ready for lots of things.
I hope life’s ready for me, too.