“Content makes poor men rich; discontent makes rich men poor.” -Benjamin Franklin
Reading something like this always brightens my day. 💛
Let’s pay attention to those who pay attention.
Waking up with a heavy, confused heart.. With questions that will never seem to be answered.. I don’t want this anymore.
Why don’t we look the other way? It might be the right way.
“In this heavy and confusing life, while you deal with your business, you wonder what they are doing all of a sudden and think of the person first aside from yourself. That’s enough of a reason to call it love.”
-Excerpt from Every Moment Was You
This isn’t a movie review.
I paused it and am writing this while crying. It’s because of this movie that I finally am honest to myself on how lonely I am.
I am lonely.
I still don’t have anyone. 23 years (24 in a month) and I still don’t.
I know no one should make anyone a solution to their sadness.. or problems.. or feeling of incompleteness, but I really feel sad and incomplete.
I am okay. My life’s okay. There’s these bumps every now and then, but I am okay with my life, my family, my friends, myself. I like how everything is. I love it. I’m happy.
It’s just that there’s something missing. There’s this hole inside. I feel empty. Not that I don’t feel loved; in fact I am, very. It’s just different when you have someone. As I always say and know:
I may be a little bruised now. I might seem to be yearning for somebody to complete me or fix me or turn as my world. No, all I want is to have someone I can shower all my love on and be showered on all his, someone I’d brave any storm with.
But where are you?
When you’re more honest to the person you’re rejecting about a person you’re into than to the latter…
Plus, after turning him down, he ends up advising you on being brave enough to tell that other person how you feel about him.
How complicated can my life be?
The film, Eddie The Eagle, has just moved from my list of “To Watch” to my list of “All-Time Favorites”. I have also just recommended it to all my Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook connections.
I’m on a high right now. I’m listing down all the words I can associate to this movie, this life story:
Dedication. Passion. Failure. Determination. Rejection. Inspiration. Trust. Courage. Heart. Ambition. Training. Dream. Positivity. Negativity. Hope. Struggle. Pain. Recognition. Effort. Discipline. Readiness. Spirit. Motivation. Experience. Preparation. Encouragement. Understanding. Belief.
No further explanations. That’s it; that’s the review.
I used to hold grudges on people (dear friends and special ones) who either agree to meeting up then cancelling last minute, especially those who don’t give any notice that they wouldn’t make it, or don’t respond to any of my messages and keep me on “seen.”
These people, unfortunately, are those whom I rarely see or talk or whom I had to gather enough courage first before speaking to or asking out; which was why I tend to hurt so much then.
But I have learnt to shrug it off (that I’m very glad to) sometime this year; when and how are vague.
What I do is I keep in mind that I don’t know if they may be going through / have been through something. If I do know, still, I don’t know what exactly they were feeling or how devastating it must have been for them.
I try to understand.
I try to.. Though I don’t understand a thing, though I’m hurting, though I feel disappointed, though my expectations and excitement are really at the peak.
We all cope differently.
During those times, we also sometimes hurt others or push them away unbeknownst to us.
I just repeat those thoughts over and over until I’m calm.
I hope they know that I’ll still be here, fast forward everything.