Hers and Sylvester Stallone’s, George Clooney’s, etc. I love learning about their personalities, their passion, hardwork, the roots and the fruits of it all.
Walking along the busy city streets tonight, I realized this is the first time I’m not looking forward to my birthday, which is tomorrow. I’m not feeling any excitement, fear, worry.. good nor bad.. nothing. I have even just accepted that this may come with age. Adults may be feeling this way all the time. Then it hurt me again to realize it may be because there’s nothing special happening in my life right now. I don’t even want to just pray for my current obstacle, the family being financially in a bad state. I usually wish to have something I’m yearning for on my next birthday or wish to have passed and be laughing at a present problem a year later or show extreme gratitude for the things I have now and am experiencing now. However, tonight.. This year..
Nothing. Blank. Empty.
Until a few more minutes of contemplating, watching the seemingly lonely, damp roads be lit by passing cars, it struck me. I needn’t have a special reason to be happy about it nor have to always look forward to it. Simply, the gift of life.. Me being here right now.. Me having lived 22 years.. And still having the opportunity to continue.. It’s more than enough reason to celebrate tomorrow.
Happy 23rd birthday, self!
Cheers to life!
So, I’m seated across my sister, staring blankly on the floor.
“Ano, give up na?” (So, giving up?)
She’s referring to the article I’m writing for work, but it was processed a lot differently.
Yes, I’m letting go of the feelings and hopes I still have.
Yes, I’m giving up the thought that we could still be something when the time is right.
No, I’m not letting go of the dreams I have for myself.
No, I trust in His plans for me.
The question’s still echoing. My answers are clear but my soul feels so empty and heavy at the same time.
Truth is.. She’s still faking but still not making it.
It starts within, yes. But maybe, just maybe, what’s missing is someone who’d constantly push you to do better.
When people ask why things didn’t work out with those friends or special persons, I’m tempted to just raise my hand and give them a sad smile.