Say it

I told you how I felt. What you don’t know is I still do, but that doesn’t matter anymore. I just want to hear you say the words. Anything, as long as it’s the truth. If you’re done, no worries, I’ll be done soon. I’ll be fine soon.

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This is one of those nights

This is one of those nights when I just can’t stop thinking, worrying, and suddenly explode into tears I’ve been trying to hold back for far too long. 

It’s just so hard. Worse, I have no one to talk to about all these. I know there are lots of good souls willing to listen, but no matter how difficult it gets, a huge part of me still thinks and feels this is a battle I could fight on my own; partly because I don’t want others to see what’s behind the mask, more so that everything’s just masked.

I don’t know what to do anymore. R.. Should I speak to him now? Should I do it face to face? Should I just show this blog to him and let this explain everything? Should I just choose not to let him hear the truth from me ever? D.. Should I inform him that I just act normal but that doesn’t mean I’m over it and I forgive and believe him? Should I make him explain to me upfront? Should I add that woman on Facebook? Should I look into his phone once more? Should I let this go and just believe him?

This is one of those nights when I sincerely wish I could fall asleep and wake up finally knowing what to do.