Hers and Sylvester Stallone’s, George Clooney’s, etc. I love learning about their personalities, their passion, hardwork, the roots and the fruits of it all.
Walking along the busy city streets tonight, I realized this is the first time I’m not looking forward to my birthday, which is tomorrow. I’m not feeling any excitement, fear, worry.. good nor bad.. nothing. I have even just accepted that this may come with age. Adults may be feeling this way all the time. Then it hurt me again to realize it may be because there’s nothing special happening in my life right now. I don’t even want to just pray for my current obstacle, the family being financially in a bad state. I usually wish to have something I’m yearning for on my next birthday or wish to have passed and be laughing at a present problem a year later or show extreme gratitude for the things I have now and am experiencing now. However, tonight.. This year..
Nothing. Blank. Empty.
Until a few more minutes of contemplating, watching the seemingly lonely, damp roads be lit by passing cars, it struck me. I needn’t have a special reason to be happy about it nor have to always look forward to it. Simply, the gift of life.. Me being here right now.. Me having lived 22 years.. And still having the opportunity to continue.. It’s more than enough reason to celebrate tomorrow.
Happy 23rd birthday, self!
Cheers to life!
I’ve finally come to terms with three people who have made the biggest impact in my life.. all three today!
One.. Sat in his car and spent hours alone with him.
Two.. Messaged and invited her to our friends’ next night out.
Three.. Breathed the same air as he again after all those years.
Emotional barriers have been brought down. All the pain and anger that haunted me for the longest time have finally turned to dust and danced with the wind. It wasn’t even awkward at all. I can’t explain the feeling, but thank you, Lord, for this day.
I am accepting everything that happened in the first half of this year. I will be facing the next half head on, while hoping it will be filled mostly with good ones this time.
Our lives changed in a snap with that news last week. My heart breaks this early realizing nothing could turn it back. My life just a week ago’s all gone now.
No more time to waste. No more hiding. If the right one comes along, I will not waste another moment nor run away from his reach. I will let myself feel freely.. love and be loved.
Likewise, I’ll do my best not to waste any opportunity to be with friends and family, to go to places I’ve never been, and to do things I rarely do or I’ve never done. Tomorrow is never promised.
It’s very timely that I was able to watch this movie that made realize all these on the month of love. Thank you, Can’t Help Falling In Love.
What’s funny is this is happening.. again.. only that I’m braver now, more mature now, more prepared to face this, and much more willing to do anything in my power just to stop it. How I wish I’m also number now, but it hurts much more than before. I never thought this could happen. Surprise surprise.