Irreplaceable You

This isn’t a movie review.

I paused it and am writing this while crying. It’s because of this movie that I finally am honest to myself on how lonely I am.

I am lonely.

I still don’t have anyone. 23 years (24 in a month) and I still don’t.

I know no one should make anyone a solution to their sadness.. or problems.. or feeling of incompleteness, but I really feel sad and incomplete.

I am okay. My life’s okay. There’s these bumps every now and then, but I am okay with my life, my family, my friends, myself. I like how everything is. I love it. I’m happy.

It’s just that there’s something missing. There’s this hole inside. I feel empty. Not that I don’t feel loved; in fact I am, very. It’s just different when you have someone. As I always say and know:

I’m ready.

I may be a little bruised now. I might seem to be yearning for somebody to complete me or fix me or turn as my world. No, all I want is to have someone I can shower all my love on and be showered on all his, someone I’d brave any storm with.

But where are you?

I have so much love to give, I think my heart’s gonna explode any minute now. But I’ll wait for you.. Patiently, until our time comes.

Thank you so much, Lord God. I received an unexpected blessing tonight. It really is true not to give in and give up when challenges arise.. for He has plans. He’s preparing something for us. Thank you. I’ve been breaking for days, wondering how to solve these. You led me to it tonight. It’s a hard call, alike all the other options, but it’s for the best, for now. One down.