Ever been so engrossed in your daydream it felt oh so real? So happy, so loved.. Then a second later, you’re snapped back into reality and a gush of pain takes place. Sigh.
Will any of these thoughts ever turn into reality?
Letting go of a child’s hand to see him walk on his own is the first life-changing decision parents make. For me, this scenario is the most significant part of a person’s life. This is the part where you learn the word independence. As soon as the people supporting you let go of you, you have no one else to trust but yourself. You take a step and try to balance yourself, until after a few steps, you realize you’re already walking!
This part is repeated over and over as we grow up. One of which is when teenagers are about to start college and must move to a dormitory near their university. Again, my parents let go of me and watched me learn how to walk on my own. I took careful steps along the way. There were times when I lost my balance and fell, but I stood up and continued walking.
Letting go doesn’t always mean you’re tired of the person or the situation, which you’re doing for yourself.
Sometimes, letting go means letting the person learn on his own, for his own sake.
“Ang tao kailangan bitawan para matuto mag-isa. Hindi sa lahat ng oras may nakasuporta sa’yo.” (A person needs to be released from one’s hold to learn how to be on his own. People won’t be there for you at all times.)
This is the reality. There will always come a time when it will be you and you alone. You will have no one to count on, nobody to ask for help. When you make a mistake, no one’s going to tell you it’s alright. When you don’t know what to do, nobody will state your options. You will rely on your own thoughts and feelings.
The rewards are great. I learnt how to decide for myself. I used to depend on others’ suggestions and seldom made my own. I used my me-time’s to reflect on current situations. A noisy and crowded environment made this impossible before. I knew myself better. I didn’t have a clue how much I didn’t know about myself. I learnt how to smile despite an exhausting or melancholic day. I used to sleep with a frown and wake up making the following day worse. I managed to have a good sense of direction and go to places all by myself. Having a car and being with the whole family disabled me from commuting and learning how to go to places. I focused on my studies. Aside from Twitter, I didn’t have any distractions. I realized how hard it is for people living alone and away from their families. I now understand solitary people and OFWs. I gave much importance to my health. No one prepared my food, asked me to eat on time, bought me medicines, and took care of me when I’m sick. I valued money even more. I must have enough until the end of the week or I will starve. And most importantly, I became stronger. I cry myself to sleep; I let myself be sad whenever I feel alone and miss my family; I let my anger flow through my eyes. But afterwards, I try to give solutions to my problems, think of happy thoughts, and wake up with a smile on my face.
All these I learnt because they let me go.. because I took the risk and went out of my shell.. because I walked alone. My advice? If you truly care for a person and you really want him to learn, let go. 😉