Maybe one day, all these thoughts will be reality. Maybe not with the person I’m imagining at present, but surely with the right person.
This in itself soothes me.
I just really can’t control my mind. Us getting another chance in this lifetime is next to impossible anymore, but I can’t stop myself. I keep on creating happy memories I know might never happen.
And that’s okay. I’ll hold on to the thought that it might not.. not with him.. But with the person written in God’s plans, it surely will.
I think I can settle on this for now.
Maybe steering away, for now, is the best thing to do. Fix myself first or I drag them down with me. Never will I let the latter happen. Happy New Year to the people I care about. I’ll be cheering from the sides.
I realized this just now. That night, and probably on other days, I did and said all those things not because I was drunk. I was just my complete self. I may not know why exactly, but in nights like that, I’m myself. It may be because I’m extremely comfortable with the people I’m with or because the people around me are drunk anyways and may forget everything the following day. Whatever the reason, I’m just glad I’m able to put down my mask from time to time.
“Nothing strikes me more in these verses than Mephibosheth’s opinion of himself: he views himself as a dead dog. People have thought of only one thing about him for his entire life: he is unable to walk. It made me think about how I have treated other people that have disabilities. God does not view them for only their disabilities, just like he does not view me only on my best or worst day. Follow God’s lead, as David did and treat all people, regardless of their physical or mental capabilities, as equals.“
No matter how good my day goes, tears still fall at two in the morning.