One week

I get why I feel like days fly by so fast, now.

I’m doing nothing.

The weeks are passing by the same ways. It’s always the same things. There’s nothing new, nothing special, nothing’s changed.

That’s what I should vow to myself to start doing now. Each week, there should be at least one thing I accomplished, began, or changed. I will jot it down weekly and post it here exactly one year later. I know this initiative will greatly impact who and where I will be by that time.

It’s just up to me to start.

Praising and Cursing

Please don’t

Took a nap just a while ago.

Dreamt of me hearing my father flirting on the phone. I stormed outside my room towards him in the living room. He didn’t notice me as his eyes were closed and was wearing earphones. I was enraged, more so because the setting was similar to the actual before I fell asleep — my mother and youngest sister asleep on the couches — yet he seemed confident he won’t wake them up and kept on talking. Though I already knew who it was on the other end, I grabbed his phone to look at the caller ID. It was a bit hard since along with the shock, his reflexes made him hold on to his phone.

I awakened.

No, please don’t let it be a warning, Lord. I don’t want it to happen to us.. again. I don’t want to go through it alone again. I don’t want to hold more grudges against him. I don’t want to forgive him again. Please.