Irreplaceable You

This isn’t a movie review.

I paused it and am writing this while crying. It’s because of this movie that I finally am honest to myself on how lonely I am.

I am lonely.

I still don’t have anyone. 23 years (24 in a month) and I still don’t.

I know no one should make anyone a solution to their sadness.. or problems.. or feeling of incompleteness, but I really feel sad and incomplete.

I am okay. My life’s okay. There’s these bumps every now and then, but I am okay with my life, my family, my friends, myself. I like how everything is. I love it. I’m happy.

It’s just that there’s something missing. There’s this hole inside. I feel empty. Not that I don’t feel loved; in fact I am, very. It’s just different when you have someone. As I always say and know:

I’m ready.

I may be a little bruised now. I might seem to be yearning for somebody to complete me or fix me or turn as my world. No, all I want is to have someone I can shower all my love on and be showered on all his, someone I’d brave any storm with.

But where are you?

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Fix

Maybe steering away, for now, is the best thing to do. Fix myself first or I drag them down with me. Never will I let the latter happen. Happy New Year to the people I care about. I’ll be cheering from the sides.

Acceptance is key.

How many times do I have to repeat these three words for my mind and heart to finally understand and follow?