Grudges

I used to hold grudges on people (dear friends and special ones) who either agree to meeting up then cancelling last minute, especially those who don’t give any notice that they wouldn’t make it, or don’t respond to any of my messages and keep me on “seen.”

These people, unfortunately, are those whom I rarely see or talk or whom I had to gather enough courage first before speaking to or asking out; which was why I tend to hurt so much then.

But I have learnt to shrug it off (that I’m very glad to) sometime this year; when and how are vague.

What I do is I keep in mind that I don’t know if they may be going through / have been through something. If I do know, still, I don’t know what exactly they were feeling or how devastating it must have been for them.

I try to understand.

I try to.. Though I don’t understand a thing, though I’m hurting, though I feel disappointed, though my expectations and excitement are really at the peak.

We all cope differently.

During those times, we also sometimes hurt others or push them away unbeknownst to us.

I just repeat those thoughts over and over until I’m calm.

I hope they know that I’ll still be here, fast forward everything.

I have so much love to give, I think my heart’s gonna explode any minute now. But I’ll wait for you.. Patiently, until our time comes.

When someone said s/he would like to travel back in time, not to change things, but to feel a few things twice.

darn, I felt that.

Not New Year’s Resolutions, just new day realizations

  • Less complaints, more actions
  • Situations I can’t control, I’ll let be.
  • If there are work left unfinished past 8PM, then there are. (Discipline on both work-life balance and efficiency)
  • Tweet about negative thoughts and feelings less. It only lets the emotions linger and gives others a peek.
  • Two watches, cellphone, laptop.. Be mindful of the time.
  • Sleep longer, live longer
  • Big or small, give Him thanks

To a few

Fast forward to years later, I hope we still talk and meet from time to time no matter where life leads us.

Really. It’s all I wish.

At present, I still suck at showing people how much I value them, esp in making time to see them. 😕

When you try and succeed to stay strong longer than you know you can, you’ll just find yourself breaking down at a random time and day.

“Good things happen to those who try. Better things happen to those who wait.” -Boy Abunda on his show aired on June 29, 2016