Dang, can I say the truth for once?

I really, really miss you, R.

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“Who’s this? Looks familiar?”

My harsh way of saying, “I missed you so much, E! I miss the kind of friendship we had when you were still single.”

But of course he didn’t get that.

Moments

Random moments when the conversations flow freely..

Rants, secrets, problems.. They’re all out without second thoughts.

It just feels so good.

These are moments I rarely realize I need until they happen.

Truly, no matter how long and how much you prepare for people who are leaving, the pain’s still the same.

Please don’t

Took a nap just a while ago.

Dreamt of me hearing my father flirting on the phone. I stormed outside my room towards him in the living room. He didn’t notice me as his eyes were closed and was wearing earphones. I was enraged, more so because the setting was similar to the actual before I fell asleep — my mother and youngest sister asleep on the couches — yet he seemed confident he won’t wake them up and kept on talking. Though I already knew who it was on the other end, I grabbed his phone to look at the caller ID. It was a bit hard since along with the shock, his reflexes made him hold on to his phone.

I awakened.

No, please don’t let it be a warning, Lord. I don’t want it to happen to us.. again. I don’t want to go through it alone again. I don’t want to hold more grudges against him. I don’t want to forgive him again. Please.

πŸ’πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

can buy
can go
can do
but shouldn’t
shouldn’t yet

.
story of my life