I don’t know what to do anymore

It’s so frustrating I can’t stop crying right now. I don’t get why my family doesn’t understand the gravity of the situation we are in.

Nothing’s guaranteed in this life, but all the more now that we have this pandemic.

My mother has to go to work twice each week, not to mention it’s in Quezon City and they have the highest number of cases in the National Capital Region. Observing her actions, she doesn’t remember to dispose her surgical or N-95 masks right away, sometimes left on the sofa or in the bedroom. She also has to stay at our relatives there and the neighborhood’s not observing proper precautions. Given that she has to be there Mondays and Tuesdays, 14-day home quarantine’s not feasible and she sleeps beside my father when she’s home. Now, she doesn’t even want to continue taking her vitamins.

My sister works and sleeps at her business partner’s residence most of the time, sometimes having to deliver the products to customers by herself. My father regularly cycles with different friends.

I volunteered to do the errands such as going to markets and grocery stores from March since I know best that they don’t have to worry about me not taking care of myself while I’m out (very strict to them at home and teaches them everything I read and watch online re COVID) and I’m the healthiest in the family (given my age, lifestyle, and the only one not having any hospital record). I’ve also been avoiding contact with any of my friends no matter what they think or say.

Still, any one of us is in danger of contracting the virus. Moreover, cases can be asymptomatic; who’s to know that we’re not “positive” yet?

Tests have triaging; we can’t easily request for one. Tests are expensive. Hospital bills are sky high. Hospitals are full. Health workers are pleading for resources, budgets, time. The Philippine government’s prioritizing their own interests. Test positive and one foot’s surely in the grave already.

We’re not safe. No one is.

I volunteered to be the most exposed when all of us are still home, safe with each other. I chose to take the risk without hesitation. I’ve thought about the worst case scenario. Patients can’t be visited and are placed in isolation; I can do that. I’ll be happier being there alone, knowing they’re all “negative” and safe at home.

At present, only my youngest sister is not going out. We don’t have available rooms at home where we can practice proper distancing.

I can’t guarantee their safety, not even mine. I don’t understand why they don’t get it.

I feel for those who can relate to Koe No Katachi (A Silent Voice). I sincerely hope watching this film helped you in any way, guys.

“Everyone goes through difficulties in life. But we’re all in the same boat, aren’t we?” -Kawai

The eagle has landed

The film, Eddie The Eagle, has just moved from my list of “To Watch” to my list of “All-Time Favorites”. I have also just recommended it to all my Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook connections.

I’m on a high right now. I’m listing down all the words I can associate to this movie, this life story:

Dedication. Passion. Failure. Determination. Rejection. Inspiration. Trust. Courage. Heart. Ambition. Training. Dream. Positivity. Negativity. Hope. Struggle. Pain. Recognition. Effort. Discipline. Readiness. Spirit. Motivation. Experience. Preparation. Encouragement. Understanding. Belief.

No further explanations. That’s it; that’s the review.

Mom posted this on my Facebook wall years ago. Haven't really taken it to heart. Huge mistake.